During their long-winded gasconades, politicians often tout their college alma mater as a part of their credentials and accomplishments. A lot of these higher education institutions are pretty prestigious. Places like Harvard, Yale, Oxford and Stanford are on the list of the heftier claims. I don’t recall any of our politicians hailing from Lizard Lick Community College.
Upon reflection, I pondered a great ponder: How does one graduate from one of these famously honored places of learning only to cascade into a pile of ineptitude? Either they are inept from the beginning and are just pushed through the curriculum, or there are secret classes for those seeking a career in politics which turn out well groomed imbeciles.
It has to be the latter.
How would one get into these clandestine classes? It’s quite simple, really. One would have to come from a long line of political family, know somebody or show enough intelligent ineptitude to earn a scholarship. If they get in, they are in, man!
Once they have been accepted, they get to pick a major. It could be in medicine, law, music or, ironically enough, politics. A schedule of classes is then assigned. The classes all sound legitimate with standard subject names such as Economics 101 or Biology 201, but those aren’t the real classes.
Here are some of the real subjects of study:
- Asininics
- Blameshifting
- Croniesphere
- Telepandering
There are even Home Ec classes such as:
- Cooking Books
- Scrubbing History
- Laundering Money
When the time comes and they’re ready for constituents, a degree is given. Then they are unleashed on the American people to spout their drivel, double-speak and blabbering. Sometimes they get in too deep to hide their disregard for America. Which is where comments such as, “What does it matter?” (regarding the death of 4 Marines) comes from.
Or how about “Give me a break, man.” when the press asks a predetermined “tough” question?
Another good one: “When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two and didn’t like it. I didn’t inhale and I didn’t try it again.” Ohhhh-kay.
Ooh! And my all time favorite: “You have to pass it to know what’s in it.”
How ignorant do the political “elite” think we are? From now on “Politics” should be referred to as “Polidiocy.”
Photo by Spencer Davis on Unsplash)
