He Says...

Polarnomial Nomenclature

In order to graduate from high school, I had to have 4 Science Credits. Four credits equals 2 semesters which is the equivalent of one school year. The science could be any science of my choice. I chose Biology.

One thing I learned in Biology was Binomial Nomenclature. In layman’s terms that means 2-name naming. Like the roadrunner is Speedipus Rex and the coyote is Eatius Slobbius.

We’re going to talk about Polarnomial Nomenclature or opposite-name naming. Polarnomial isn’t even a word but but what can I say? This is creative writing.

Through the years I’ve seen different programs, groups and terms pop up. I’ve come to realize that a lot of these programs, groups and terms are named the opposite of what is actually true or of what they are trying to accomplish. The name sounds all good and dandy, but the end game isn’t really what the name implies.

Such as:

The Patriot Act: This act is supposed to protect America but what it really does is allow the government to spy on Americans. Very patriotic indeed. The Government Tyranny Act would never have gotten passed.

The Affordable Health Care Act: This act was passed to make sure that every American has access to affordable health care. What it did was raise the rates of health insurance. For me, it was a $900 a month premium with at $12,000 deductible. Certainly not affordable for this household. Should have been named The Socialist Health Care Act.

Antifa or Anti-Fascist: This group uses fascist tactics while supposedly fighting against fascism. The real name should be Hypocrifa.

Planned Parenthood: Oh, it’s planned, but it certainly isn’t about “parenthood”.  Abortion Central would be a more appropriate name.

Black Lives Matter: This anti-racist group says it’s about getting fair or equal treatment. In actuality, it’s a black supremest group that wants to dominate others based on the color of their skin. Which is, in and of itself, racist. Only Black Lives Matter would be a more fitting title.

The Fair Housing Act: When it comes to buying, selling or renting places to live, this act is meant to keep people from discriminating against other people. It does accomplish this, but this act also allows somebody to get verbally offended and file a complaint against another person. The accused is then guilty until they can prove themselves innocent. Sounds fair. I think The More Than Fair For Some Housing Act title paints a truer picture.

The NFAC or The Not “Fooling” Around Coalition: This group was obviously fooling around when one member accidentally shot and wounded a fellow member. This is really The Clown Car Rodeo.

The Man Bun: Nothing says “I’m manly” more than a feminine blob of hair on your head. Let’s face it, no matter what you call it, it’s a bun.

And the list goes on.

I just might start my own group. I’ll call it FAT. Anyone can join and pants size doesn’t matter. We’re FAT not because we’re overweight, but because we’re Fed-up And Tired.

(Photo by: Garidy Sanders on Unsplash)

Published by Derek

Musician, Writer, Husband of Miss Tori & Son of the King!

6 thoughts on “Polarnomial Nomenclature”

  1. Wanda Tumlin says:

    I’ll join your FAT group. You guys seriously need a Like button.

    1. Derek says:

      I’d like your comment but we don’t have a “Like” button.

    2. Tori says:

      The beauty of not having a “Like” button is that it encourages people to leave a comment, and actually converse with one another. Besides, we’re trying to steer clear of FB.

      1. Derek says:

        *Derek “likes” this*

  2. Gary S. says:

    I like FAT! It suits me.

    1. Derek says:

      I find it quite fitting as well!

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