He Says...

Men vs. Women: Eating Meals

I would say that on the average, men tend to eat faster than women, and women tend to eat slower than men. I know that this isn’t a hard and fast rule, as there are exceptions on either end of the spectrum. But for the most part, women don’t know how men can eat so dang fast while men can’t fathom how women eat so excruciatingly slow.

In my humble opinion, this dynamic has little to do with the physical characteristic differences between male and female. Men don’t necessarily have bigger mouths and therefore can eat faster. Rather, the variances in speed have more to with how the meal is approached.

Women eat very methodically while men eat with efficiency.

Using a meal of spaghetti as an example, a woman approaches her plate thoughtfully. She locates the optimum starting point, inserts her fork and turns it around until the appropriate amount of noodles adhere. The bite is then brought to the mouth where it is chewed until the proper swallowing texture is achieved. During the chewing procedure the fork may stay in hand or it may be placed down on the side of the plate. Once the bite has reached the optimum texture, it is swallowed. The lady then waits until that which has been swallowed reaches her stomach before she picks up the fork and creates the next bite.

This continues until maximum fullness is reached.

Now the man approaches his plate with less elegance. FOOD! He puts his fork right in the middle of the saucy noodle pile and spins it until no more noodles move. Cramming the monster into his mouth, he begins chewing while simultaneously inserting the fork back into the pile to collect more noodles. As soon as the “bite” has been chewed down to normal proportions, it is then swallowed. Once the swallowed glob has passed the wind pipe, the next serving is inserted into the mouth.

This continues until there isn’t any more food left on the table.

(Photo by: Spencer Davis on Unsplash)

Published by Derek

Musician, Writer, Husband of Miss Tori & Son of the King!

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